Ever since I was a baby goat in the barnyard I always envied the ninja turtles that lived in the creek. So when I reached the age of one the owl moved me to the grass hut in the forest for my beginning of ninja training. After I was finished with it, they gave me my super-secret ninja van which I named “Jose.”

I arrived in New York approximately one week after I completed my training. I cruised the streets looking for accomplices who were ready to do the dirty deed. When I drove past the park, I spotted a shady pigeon. I tricked him into my van with some bird seed and told him that I’m a ninja. He said that he was down like Charlie Brown. I called him “Carrot.”

A couple of weeks later, I got a call about a robbery at McDonald’s. They said the crew they had stole a million chicken nuggets. Carrot loved chicken nuggets so he grabbed his baseball bat, and we left. When we arrived, I saw the Batmobile. We walked in and told him he had to leave, but he put up a struggle so Carrot had to put him down. When I looked up, the Ninja Turtles were there. Carrot flew away screaming. I then realized it was time for a Battle Royale.

I grabbed Carrot’s bat. The Ninja Turtles pulled out bazookas. Using my ninja-time-slowing skills, I kicked the bazookas out of their hands before they could realize what went down. Then we made a deal to become the Ninja-Turtle-Goats. I said yes but told them I had to be their leader. So we climbed into the ninja van and flew off into the Wild West never to be seen again.